I’m tired of caring about who follows me and who looks at my story. This extra anxiety is completely useless and serves no purpose.

Day 1 of 365. We make incremental changes to better our lifestyle overall. Starting with sobriety.

2019

A little bit late. Still drunk. But this is the last one.

Nut Up

Sometimes shit irritates me, I’m conscious about it, but then I think about all the other shit that’s happening in the world and how little my life matters in respect to the problems that most people face on a day to day basis and I suck it up and stop bitching. Gut it out and use it as fuel. Goggins shit baby. Roger that haha!

Feelings change

I don’t think I’ll ever allow my self to fully be in love. At least not in the way that people make it seem. I feel like I only certain people with the same idea of what love or being in love means can actually experience something like that. Otherwise it’s always a tug of war between the person who is chasing and the person who is leading. I’ll always be an individual, and eventually I’ll just be an individual who enjoys spending time with another individual……but of course things change.

Challenge #1

What are the current factors limiting your growth and success?

- I believe my work ethic is sharp and effective, but procrastination often takes control of my daily routine. Waiting to do something when it feels good enough or easiest to do is ultimately one of my major limiting growth factors.

Is someone standing in your way at work or at school?

- I’m a firm believer in taking accountability for your own actions and how you react to things. Although I don’t always react to things in ways I would like, it’s something I’ve been working on for the past year and a half or so. I don’t believe someone is currently standing in my way at work. Only myself.

Are you underappreciated and overlooked for opportunities?

I believe I’m underappreciated and overlooked whenever I’m searching for a job. I shouldn’t expect things to just fall into place by getting a degree, but while you’re in school, it’s always told to you that education is the most important aspect of life and systematically speaking, it’s the norm to go to college after grade school.

What are the long odds you’re up against right now?

- I’m constantly at risk of developing long lasting physical and mental health problems if I allow my procrastination or laziness to affect my actions to maintain a healthy diet, sleep schedule, and exercise routine. I’m also facing a long odd against me in the near future with weather or not I pass my first actuary exam. I’ve mentally set the exam date to be in May. I plan on studying in January, but there are many things about this exam that scare me. There are 9 total exams I must finish in my career as an actuary, and of those exams they require a minimum of 300 hours of studying if you expect to pass. Passing these exams to me is my one way ticket to getting a high paying career to support a lifestyle I’d like to live, while also providing me a challenging career to validate the internal dialog I’ve told myself in school. That dialog being that I can do the work, if I choose to do the work. Something I still believe to this day. I failed high school math my freshman year and was set in classes that were easier than other math classes my peers took. Ever since then I’ve gravitated towards doing harder tasks in school but I’ve switched to different things as those tasks have become more difficult and I lose interest. I hope to end that cycle, but I know I’ll need to make a drastic change and put the work in before that change can come to furision.

Are you standing in your own way?

- I’ve always stood in my own way. Relating back to my previous answers; I have to take full accountability in my life in regards to my actions and reactions. If there is a problem that arises, I try to always look at it through the lens of self accountability. I try to at least…this is something I’m working on and developing as a life long skill.